I’m an adoptive mum. Alongside being a parent, I’ve worked within the Virtual School for the past 11 years, supporting children in care and helping schools understand the kinds of environments and interventions that help children who have experienced trauma to thrive within education.

One recurring theme throughout my career has been the lack of meaningful life story work and relational support available for many children. So when I first began speaking with Growing Me last autumn, I instantly knew this was something really special.

Initially, I was connected with them to see whether I could support their work professionally in any way. But very quickly, I realised the value Growing Me could have for my own family — particularly for my eldest son.

What stood out to me immediately was that Growing Me wasn’t trying to “fix” behaviour. It wasn’t focused purely on outcomes or targets. It looked at the whole child, and more importantly, the relationship around the child.

For us, the biggest hope was connection.

My son has always been incredibly playful and connection-seeking, but he’s also struggled significantly with emotional dysregulation, particularly within school. Like many families, we had fallen into a pattern where we were constantly firefighting difficult moments.

An incident would happen, then my husband or I would try to open up conversations afterwards about feelings or behaviour. But those conversations often led to him shutting down, us feeling frustrated, and ultimately more disconnection.

And unfortunately, that cycle spilled into school too. He struggled to regulate himself, which led to unwanted behaviours, exclusions, difficult conversations at home, and over time, a little boy who simply didn’t feel very good about himself.

So when Growing Me came along, it felt different.

I’ll be honest — at first I wasn’t sure how engaged he would be with the weekly sessions. I expected him to rush through them or avoid the reflective parts completely.

But from day one, he absolutely embraced it.

Every Wednesday afternoon became “our time.” He’d say, “It’s our day today Mum.”

And we built this lovely little ritual around it — just the two of us, without siblings, without pressure, without correction or judgement.

What I think was so powerful was that the sessions weren’t asking him to explain himself or justify his behaviour. They simply created safe opportunities for connection.

Through those activities, I genuinely got to know my son more deeply.

I learned how he experiences emotions in his body, how he perceives the world around him, how much he craves younger, nurturing, connective experiences — especially through play.

One thing that really struck me was that during our sessions, he would slip into this very vulnerable toddler-like voice. And for a child who often needs to stay highly defended and in control, that was huge. He allowed himself to be led by me. He allowed himself to feel safe.

And in the days after the sessions, I noticed a completely different kind of connection between us. He wanted to navigate life together. There was more openness, more calmness, more trust.

One moment that really stayed with me was during the activity where he chose certificates for people he felt were “on his team.” I was honestly amazed by his ability to recognise and celebrate the people around him who made him feel safe and valued. That felt like enormous emotional growth.

And we absolutely noticed the impact in school too.

When he is actively engaged in the intervention, he is noticeably more settled. It becomes very clear that when he feels better about himself internally, his ability to cope with the demands of being around others improves dramatically.

Some of the biggest changes we’ve noticed are around emotional vocabulary, communication, confidence, and connection.

He’s much more able to identify feelings and talk about them. He’s more curious, more engaged, and far more connected relationally.

But I think one of the biggest shifts has actually been in me as a parent.

Growing Me helped me slow down and really think about what he might be communicating underneath the behaviour, rather than becoming consumed by the behaviour itself.

Professionally, I think that’s what makes this intervention so valuable.

In education, we often talk about attainment, progress, attendance, outcomes… but children cannot fully access learning if they don’t feel emotionally safe, connected, and understood.

Emotional regulation underpins concentration. Connection underpins participation. Confidence underpins learning.

And for children who have experienced trauma or disruption, those foundations are absolutely critical.

What I value so much about Growing Me is that it is deeply trauma-informed without feeling clinical. It supports attachment, co-regulation, emotional literacy, and family connection in a way that feels playful, relational, and accessible.

It strengthens the relationships around the child, not just the child in isolation.

And I honestly believe programmes like this matter enormously,not just for educational outcomes, but for children’s sense of identity, belonging, and self-worth.

For me, Growing Me hasn’t been about quick fixes.

It’s been about building stronger foundations, for my child, for our relationship, and ultimately for his ability to feel safe enough to learn, connect, and thrive.

And I’m incredibly grateful to Growing Me for creating something that gives families those moments of connection and understanding, because those moments really do have lasting impact.